Stepping onto the Stake offices can be an intimidating experience. But in a meeting or temple recommend interview with President Jared Abney, your blood pressure will quickly decrease as you are put at ease by the unhurried pace of his words and the speed of his smile. He oozes compassion and steadiness.

Sometimes we look at families like that of President Jared and Jamie Abney, with each member seeming so impressive, and think they were just born as shiny, happy people. But as you get to know them, you learn that, as in all the best people, their virtues are borne of experience and trials. President Abney’s life repeatedly teaches the lesson that sometimes it’s the things that go wrong which improve our life the most. Jared and Jamie Abney really are as good as they seem, but they’ve earned it! He may prefer listening to talking - But perhaps we can peel back a layer so more of our stake members can get to know him a better!

There weren’t many member kids in Bakersfield in the 90’s, yet the pews at church were full of teens. Everyone wanted to play ball with the Abney kids. But to play church ball, you had to go to church. Jared’s parents made their home and church a welcome experience for the diverse friends that came around - Dad with his sturdy presence and scoutmaster skills, and mom with her encouragement and great food (which were often one and the same). Her go-to solution to life’s ills was “Have another brownie!” 

But all the brownies in the world didn’t help Jared with school. Having inherited dyslexia from his dad, school wasn’t just hard, it was impossible. Dad spent hours with Jared, hoping that reading the Book of Mormon would work. It didn’t. The only silver lining was that Jared also inherited athleticism. Sports kept him working hard and gave him the confidence he needed to keep trying at school. 

It was helping his football coach with special needs classes that Jared caught a clear vision of his career path. Jared knew how hard it could be to learn and felt driven to make it better for kids with special needs. Things were looking up, as it appeared football would be Jared’s ticket to college as well. But the recruiters stopped calling when an injury sidelined him. 

Football was Jared’s purpose, identity and future. This injury made him ask “Who am I?” And as we know from Joseph Smith’s experience, it’s questions that open the heavens. It was through this crisis that his faith was truly forged. A mission call to Paraguay was his next step forward. But again that pesky dyslexia reared its ugly head. Jared pled with the heavens, promising that if he could master the Spanish language, he would do anything God asked. (Having served in high demand callings for the last couple decades, we can see he’s been faithful to that promise.) 

Between sessions at Rick’s College in Rexburg, Jared went to visit family in Mountain Green. In the ward was a gorgeous girl, establishing her career as a nurse, and fun as can be. Their parents had even known each other in Mesa years before! Unfortunately, Jared’s cousin asked her out first. Fortunately, he was a terrible date and ignored her, giving Jared the chance to hang out with her anyway. Jamie had a calendar full of adventures, so it took a few calls (and maybe some prayers) to set their first real date. They only went out once before Jared returned to school, but he knew he had to lock it down quickly with this great girl.

They married in the Salt Lake Temple within five months, signing documents to buy their first home on their honeymoon. That fearlessness served them well as they welcomed twin boys. Eventually another boy and two girls followed. 

Whether it’s working together in the garden, backpacking in the Uintas, or supporting the kids’ sports and activities, you can see that Jared and Jamie have built their family on the solid base of faith, family and work. 

Even if it wasn’t prominently written on the wall, you’d sense that their family mantra is “Have I done any good in the world today?” Jared’s career serving those with special needs, and Jamie’s as a nurse are just one of many expressions of their shared value of service (and also their shared ability to handle volatile and unexpected situations). During Family Home Evenings, each person writes an act of service they’ve done that week and puts it in their Service Box. At Christmas, it’s wrapped as a gift to Christ. 

The kind of service the Abney’s offer, though, has no shred of piousness or judgment. They serve from a position of equality and understanding with those they serve, knowing that we receive as much as we give. Jared has no interest in standing at the pulpit, but rather standing side-by-side, in the muck, working together. Jared and Jamie’s warmth and kindness is a legacy they’re passing down. When you meet each of their kids, they treat you as if you’re interesting and important.

The Abney’s moved into the 6th ward about two decades ago. Growing their family at the same time as putting Jared back in school for a masters degree at Weber and an Administrators license at USU, all while simultaneously teaching and administering at various schools and at the district level and supporting each other through callings. They have spread themselves thin as they are in the thick of life, but they do it by focusing on what matters. They say you don’t need the best of everything to have a rich life. 

From Bakersfield, to the wilds of the classrooms, family life and church service, President Abney has seen it all. Nothing shocks him. His response to the unexpected is not “You did what?” Rather “Let’s figure this out.” Jamie’s influence has taught him to promote women’s voices in church, knowing that the best decisions are made together, in balance. Their unflappable understanding that good comes through trial makes it easier to face challenges. President Abney’s experiences have given him thick skin and a tender heart and Burch Creek Stake is all the better for it.

(Written by Christy Spencer, Stake Communications Director)